RSS Feeda great day for a race.
So i am standing on the train at the moment and a group of asians are =
discussing bible camp. Yeah, stereotypical, i know. The conversation turns =
to food and then slowly evolves to soul food. The one white girl/woman/etc =
is listing off soul food. When she can’t think of anymore she turns to the =
vertically challenged (i.e. Midget, gnome, etc.) black woman sitting near =
her (who she didn’t appear to know) and says ‘what soul food am i leaving =
off?’ because of course every black person is required to take the soul =
food course in high school. Good times. And now i return to my journey =
downtown.
wandering mind
so i’ve been a bit preoccupied lately with this stupid project i’m working on … i got this great idea that the best way to manage the piles of paperwork that i’ve been collecting is to go digital and just keep pdfs of all bills and statements that i can receive in that form. the only problem is that of course i would need a backup copy in case something went wrong. my next problem came from me wanting to have remote access to all these files from any computer (specifically when i’m at work and need to look something up). now of course i could just access each document through the individual company’s website, but that’s rather complicated and just not convenient. so my solution for this was to take advantage of the web hosting space that i already have and use one of my domains for access to these documents. problem solved? i think not. my next dilemma was security. of course i don’t want these documents with account numbers floating around unprotected on the internet and quite frankly, a protect directory just wasn’t enough. so i’ve invested in a SSL certificate so i can encrypt all activity when it comes to those documents. so i’m now at this point where i’m trying to create the environment that i’m going to use to access all these documents. i thought this was going to be a bit easier but i figure that i’ve already invested so much time and money into this effort that i have to execute this perfectly or it will be a complete waste. the moral of that whole story was that i’m a super nerd and this super nerdy project has been consuming more time than i had anticipated. the good news is that when this is done i’ll be able to get rid of a vast majority of the four file boxes that i have filled with just paperwork.
i finally broke down and got renter’s insurance. i had this vision last week of the apartment burning down and for some reason this motivated me to take out a renter’s insurance policy the very next morning; well, that and the fact that i love filling out applications and opening new accounts (again, this all goes back to my unhealthy obsession with paperwork).
this afternoon i was at work and i found myself drinking a beer at my desk while i was working (my second one after a little gathering we had). when i tell people this they think it’s strange, but oddly enough i’ve adjusted to this type of work environment and don’t find it the least bit weird. you have to love a company that provides their employees the opportunity to unwind and socialize. granted, when you work in the media business it automatically require a certain degree of socializing; i just like the relaxed atmosphere. i trace this back to the fact that we’re a texas based agency and in texas you really don’t need a reason to drink and enjoy hanging out with your friends.
tomorrow evening i’m going to see a pet shop boys concert with a co-worker and his bf; i imagine it’s going to be a rather fun evening. i’m going to attempt to spend the rest of the weekend working on my digital files project, cleaning up my room and attempting to winterize my room. i’ve been told about this film that you blow dry onto the window and it creates this seal that keeps any sort of a draft out. again, i’m from texas and have not heard of this clever invention. sometimes i don’t think people grasp the concept of texas weather: really hot, hot, cold. there’s just not much in between.
ooo speaking of texas … i’ve discovered that my voter registration in illinois was never processed and that royally pisses me of so i’m going to vote by absentee ballot from my old texas precinct. or at least i will if i remember to send in my application tomorrow.
okay i’ve wasted enough time babbling. i’m hoping i can forget about this sore throat and coughing thing long enough to fall asleep.
gnight.
.r
a lesson in employment
this might be my first full-time job i’ve ever held, and maybe my fourth or fifth job i’ve ever held period, but it’s also the best. i think i’m reminded everyday that you can’t just love what you do but you also have to love who you work with and who you work for. so today, as has been much reported, we lost a repitch we were doing for the business of one of our clients’ business. the first thing this morning we had a message from one of our founders assuring everyone that we were family and nobody would be getting laid off because it wouldn’t affect us that much. it’s a very refreshing and reassuring feeling knowing that the people who run your company would rather find other places to cut back than to just hand out a few pinkslips to balance out the bottom line.
i seem to have lost my notebook that i’ve been jotting down all my random thoughts down in. it’s somewhere in the mess that is my room. i’ve scattered my ramblings in three different journals/notebooks and i would like to condense them into one reference source. i’m not getting as developed in the stories at the moment but i’m still getting the smaller pieces down which i can mold into stories when they become clear to me, which very well might be never.
okay i’m off to bed.
g’night.
.r
mmm glue
when i was in elementary school i used to get in trouble for using too much glue. in my opinion i was light years ahead of my age. my thinking was that after i was done with my drawing i would cover it with a later of glue to make it waterproof and unsmudgeable. genius! too bad my teachers didn’t see it that way.
trudy’s
i started thinking about mexican martinis and migas enchiladas with refried beans and hashbrowns and i can’t stop drooling. i’ve never gone this long without the best meal ever. oh austin, texas, i miss you so much.
*cough* *cough*
i’m not a fan of sickness. then again, who is.
i’m on a partial hiatus from writing because i’m working on another side-project that’s not going as smoothly as i originally expected.
more to follow.
.r
digital freedom
i finally took the plunge and bought the new smartphone that i have been wanting for so long now. i went with the nokia and i’m finding it quite enjoyable, especially for the price. i’ve become incredibly addicted to it. i can’t have it leave my side for more than a minute. i think it annoys people.
seriously, yeah that’s all that’s going on.
.r
- – -
i’m discovering that learning after college is a million times more difficult. i find my self struggling to keep up with trying to keep up with the amount of knowledge that is thrown at me. i’m finding that the hardest lesson i’m having to teach myself is to not get frustrated and give up but to take these learnings and apply to improving myself. this isn’t something you learn in school. when you’re in school it’s either you get it or you don’t and you move on. in real life you either get it or you take your failures and setbacks and apply to doing better next time. i come home from work some days and i feel so enthralled and confident in my abilities and then others i come home and i’m feeling like such a failure and so destroyed.
i came home from work today feeling so disappointed in myself and i’m having the hardest time letting go of it. it’s so difficult because they don’t teach this to you in school yet it’s probably one of the most important lessons or at least for me it is. i’m finding it more difficult for me to learn this because i take things very personal and i’m extremely harsh on myself. i feel like i’m struggling and it’s killing me, but i’m trying to work through it. i’m trying my best not to get discouraged.
on the lighter, and less introspective side of things …
it’s 35 degrees outside at the moment and i’m still sorting out my feelings towards this whole actually having a winter concept. i’m hoping i’ll change my tune when i see the first snow. my goal was to get a coat at gap today but of course the store near work was closed, as they were preparing for their launch of their red line of clothing. i need something warm yet not bulky; i can’t stand feeling like a giant marshmallow.
i’ve decided i need to go to new york to see the colbert report taped live.
until later.
a million miles away
i’m well on the way to having the strangest office. i have to say i rather enjoy my office. it’s the place i can turn to and feel most comfortable in. it’s right behind my bad as far as it being one of my three comfort environments (1. texas, 2. bed, 3. office). no more talking about texas. i get all worked up when i do. so back to my story … if i could sleep in my office i would. every week i’ve been adding something different to it. it looks crazy and messy but it’s rather comforting. as of today i’m at this point:
i have left the dark and added two lamps which give it a very warm and cozy feeling. plus i just got my yoga ball in today which i’m now using as a chair half of the time. ever since i started making it more comfortable i’ve been working more hours. i’m sure it has something to do with me having plenty of work to do but at least i’ve developed an environment that i enjoy working late in. i’m just not sure what my next big thing is.
it’s supposed to start getting quite cold over the next day or two. i’m scared because i don’t think my wool coat is ready. it still needs to be altered and plus the buttons need to be tightened on to it. i really should look into findind somewhere to get that done. what i really probably need is another really warm coat. oh and some gloves and a warm hat that doesn’t make me look ridiculous. i have friday off from work so maybe i’ll use time to find some winter outerwear.
until later.
.r
i won’t worry
i have a horrible case of buyer’s remorse at the moment. i went to the grocery store and spent nearly $100 on junk food. i wouldn’t feel so bad if i had purchased any healthy items. the only semi-healthy things i got were: yogurt, wheat crackers, and crystal light drink mix. the next healthiest thing would be honey musterd and onion pretzels. plus those wheat crackers are destined for cream cheese. everything else was frozen pizza and soda and cookies and all this stuff that’s bad for you. i seriously haven’t felt this bad about making a purchase.
an another feeling bad note … one of my closest friends, shaun, and i were chatting and everything i’ve been feeling lately finaly made themselves into words. i’m starting to wonder if chicago is really for me. i love it here, i really do. it just seems to be making me feel more lonely than i have been in quite sometimes. i’ve tried making friends to hang out with but i’m just not good at it apparently. and then i have a few friends that i hang out with sometimes but i very much feel like the outsider.
sometimes i think about going back to texas. i miss it for certain reasons that i can’t explain. there’s something about living there. working in our office there. driving home from work on lavaca. enjoying drinks with friends at trudy’s. i want chicago to work so badly. i really do love it here. i’m trying so badly to make this work and i will continue to try to make it work. but there’s only so much i can take. after a while the urge to move back to texas might overcome me.
i’m at the point where the only part of the week i really like is the work week. at least when i’m at work i’m isolated in my office and don’t have to worry about any of this. work is turning into that place i turn to to escape the realities of life.
moving on to less depressing topics …
i went to open this book i had received from my rocket scientist friend Charles. i love when people give books and right messages in them. i’m supposed to be a better person if i read this book and allow it to affect me, so we shall see if it does the trick. that little note in the book sure put a smile on my face though. it’s the little things like that that matter. there’s nothing that touches me more than when i get a simple handwritten note. such good times.
there’s wet snow in our forecast for this thursday. i’m screwed if that’s true. i have no heavy jacket and i have to gloves or hat. S C R E W E D.
i purchased a movie [hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy] from iTunes today. such a great movie but i don’t know how i feel about the quality of the movie. i feel cheated.
okay that’s enough for me for now.
gnight.
.ryan
food is good and other things
the most annoying thing about living where i do is not having a wide selection of food to choose from. other than ordering pizza or chinese from one or two places, there’s not that much around. there’s the grocery store but i hate the grocery store. every time i go in there i end up leaving with too much stuff that just isn’t needed. i need to live somewhere that has many food options within a block or two.
i actually really started missing texas this evening. i miss being able to get in the car and drive off and go get something to eat. it’s going to be very hard to adjust to life without driving. who knows though. maybe i’ll end up back in texas. i’m giving chicago a chance to grow on me but i can’t help but feel austin calling me back. this is a very rare feeling, so imagine that once i move, make more friends and get accustomed to things here, I’ll feel confident in my love for Chicago. I think it’s just this situation, which i can overcome.
on thursday i was going to a dinner with a magazine rep. of course i get incredibly lost. i got out of the train and walked east and ended up wandering around for nearly 45 minutes before i have up. got back on the train and as it pulls out of the station, i realize the place i was supposed to go to was one block west of the train station. i’ve put my “not for visitors” book back in my back. i’m clrearly not ready to be without it.
more later.
.r
tunnels and bridges
i’ve discovered that once you’ve seen one show on the discovery or history channel about a tunnel or bridge, you’ve seen them all. you dig a hole, pour some concrete, nothing really changes. such a disappointment considering i love both channels so much.
aww
this is the sappiest thing ever. but then again who wouldn’t want something like this to happen?
CTA love connection leads to a proposal
